This Would Be The BBC

American Government Decries Canada’s Grants of Asylum

1 April 2017 | US & Canada
The American Ambassador to Canada, Eric Shinseki, has lodged a formal complaint with Her Majesty’s Government. Shinseki alleges that refugee camps in Canada are being used as bases for the conflict in the United States.

 
The conflict started late January, when forces loyal to the previous President, Barack Obama, attempted to install his chosen successor, Hillary Clinton. In response, the American military’s Joint Chiefs of Staff declared martial law and started conducting mass arrests on behalf of Donald Trump. Violence is ongoing, and hundreds of thousands are estimated to have fled the country.

 
Due to the conflict American Secretary of Justice Thomas Franks has announced suspension of normal legal practices, such as habeas corpus, citing as precedent the previous American Civil War. The previous Civil War, in the 1860s, had also been started by the Democratic Party after losing a presidential election.

 
In addition to conflict with armed pro-Clinton forces, the American Federal Government is undergoing a comprehensive purge. White House Press Secretary Jeremy Sinclair claims that this is a counter intelligence effort aimed at rooting out agents of the Russian Federation he alleges colluded with the pro-Clinton coup d’etat.

 
Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov strongly denies any involvement in the coup d’etat.

 
President Donald Trump has been seen in public five times since the attack, and has appeared in thirty eight prepared videos. His wife and children are said to survive, but have not been seen.

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2 Responses to This Would Be The BBC

  1. Registered User says:

    Yes, as you can tell, this is way late, and was written in response to a much earlier set of bullshit talking points. Pushed out now because I won’t have time to do it tomorrow. Hoping for and trusting in a peaceful transition.

    I know I said I’d wait until he was actually in office before complaining about wrong stuff he has actually officially done, but I hate this ‘Office of the President Elect’ nonsense.

  2. tweell says:

    Obviously fake, even ignoring the April Fools date. Trump hiring Shinseki? Riiiiight.

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