Quilly Mammoth: Owner and Despot of Just Barking Mad. A former enlisted man of Mr. Carter’s Army that the Army saw fit to entice into becoming an officer. After fourteen years of active and reserve duty he felt that with the end of the Evil Empire his chores were done. Currently a production manager he has also conned someone into publishing his science fiction.
Marcus Atrocious: Also served in the Army. Did some cool shit. Jumped from airplanes, shot guns, blew shit up, ate snakes (well, I ate chicken, and they taste just like snake), and wore out a few pairs of boots while humping a rucksack. I am an adventurer, world traveller, and all ‘round good guy—at least that’s what my mom says. I move my lips when I read, drag my knuckles on the ground, and have a mono-brow. I laugh at fart jokes, and I enjoy sipping on single-malt scotch while watching Jackass on TV. All in all, I’m a pretty well rounded guy.
BLT: Former active-duty Captain in the Air Force who worked in communications…contemplating resigning his reserve commission to focus on raising tomorrow’s revolutionaries, and home brewing. Spends his professional time working on shit to help the gub’mint more efficiently oppress and enslave peoples around the world. Enjoys slow walks on the beach, swilling Bacardi 151, and bump-firing his Beretta 12 gauge shotgun. And Marcus…it’s called a “uni-brow” you stupid fucker. Wax it, shave it, or eat the girls out so well they don’t care.
Update: Marcus here… just for the record, monobrow or unibrow are synonymous (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono-brow). Now go pour yourself another Bacardi 151 genius.
Another guy who did some time in the Army. He spent a good chunk of his career riding around on tanks while blasting “Flight of the Valkyries” over the intercom. He enjoys Miller Lite, Copenhagen, and Halo 3. Thinks “Red Versus Blue” is the greatest work of cinematic genius since Orson Wells uttered “Rosebud” on the silver screen. Someday hopes to build a Sherman tank in his garage out of surplus parts, then take it downtown cruising for chicks.